Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just had sex bonerless
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
