why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
