Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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