I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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