I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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