How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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