just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
