PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
