I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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