she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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