Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize