Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
