But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
