My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
