I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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