That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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