rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
