she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
