I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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