as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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