I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
