Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
