You really coming over, don't trick.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
