apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
