i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize