There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
