Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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