You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
