I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
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