can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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