John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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