Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
