She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize