remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
