It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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