That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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