Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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