i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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