Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
this hospital has no fireball
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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