lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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