Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
