i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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