So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
