You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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