You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
