She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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