i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
