that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
