I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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