i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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