you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
