fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
