I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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