i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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