there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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