The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
