god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
