Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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