I think I died a long time ago.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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