she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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