Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We are all done wearing pants today
Damn victory sex feels great
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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